I want to be loved- loki
by littlemissdeath
Summary: Loki hurt angst. Loki went into hiding after faking his death. He was too distraught after the loss of Frigga. He mourns her and returns to Asgard. Hiding with a spell. He learns a way to bring her back but at a cost. Jotun Loki/Jotun male /Jotun female. Loki learns about his heritage. Learning sex, sex toys, piss, enema, masturbation, exploration, wetting.
1. Chapter 1

Loki hurt angst. Loki went into hiding after faking his death. He was too distraught after the loss of Frigga. He mourns her and returns to Asgard. Hiding with a spell.

He learns a way to bring her back but at a cost.

Jotun Loki/Jotun male /Jotun female. Loki learns about his heritage. Learning sex, sex toys, piss, enema, masturbation, exploration, wetting.

* * *

A sad figure sits alone. He is invisible. A spell so simple. His mother taught him when he was young. "Mother". He sobbed.

He listens to the conversations of the people of Asgard. They don't know he is there. They say such horrible thinks about Loki. Alone. Frigga was dead, by Loki's advice. He hates himself. It was his direction that let cursed to his mother. Loki tries to justify it that he didn't know Cursed would kill her.

It's futile, no matter the cause or the outcome, Loki was alone. The only person who loved him unconditional, dead. The throne room was quite. The guards were gone, Odin was out walking with Thor. Loki sat at the base of the golden steps. The last place he saw Frigga alive when he could have been held by her. He looked up through his blurry eyes to when she last stood before Odin dismissed her. From when Loki's fate was sealed to remain in the dungeons.

Teaming up with Thor to defeat Maliketh was irrelevant. He was unworthy of this realm. Loki faked his death rather than return a prisoner. Surrounded by the constant reminders of her. He slumped to the floor heartbroken. He did not hear the doors open, nor the footsteps approach him. The sadness had culminated and he released his anguish.

"Mother please come back! I'm sorry." he sobbed. His spell was broken. He was visible. Odin and Thor surrounded by Einherjar guards looked down on the broken man. Thor saw his brother. He thought him dead. He told his father of how honourably he died. Had he been betrayed again. Thor swift reached down and grabbed him.

"Loki! You died in my arms! How are you here?" He was not overly happy to see him. Loki didn't respond. He had nothing to say. Thor dropped him to the floor. Loki wiped his tears. He knew he was about to be punished. He had two choices, let them, or fight back.

He stood with shaky legs and swallowed hard. He chose to stand his ground. Odin made his way to his throne and slumped down. "Guards take him back to his cell." Loki growled and then disappeared. He went to run out when he felt a hard hit to his back. Thor threw Mjolnir at him. His spell broke and he slammed into the wall. Loki tried to get up but Thor was over him.

Loki held up his hands and blasted him used the casket of winters. He stood there scared and shaking. He was Jotun and then he retracted his spell. Thor went to strike him, but Odin stopped him. "Enough!"

"But Father I can defeat him!" Thor yelled.

"Despite his problems he is still your brother." Odin said calmly. Both Thor and Loki were confused by the sentiment. Odin knew better than to antagonised someone who was unstable. He decided to subdue Loki with other means. "Loki, you and Thor defeated Maliketh, you both protected the nine realms from annihilation."

Loki relaxed a bit and returned to his Aesir form. Thor stepped back and took a less aggressive stance. He knew in his heart, he couldn't have done it without Loki.

"Loki, you have time outstanding for your crimes and you must understand that you need to be punished for your attack on Midgard." Odin signed and Loki was still tense and on edge.

"I'm not going to spend my days in a cell!" Loki yelled defiantly. Odin knew this would require tack.

"I know. I also know had you have not been in the cell, you would have protected Frigga from the dark elves." Odin missed her. He realised his part in this may have contributed. "I know you would have given your life for her. And I know how after nearly a year, you still clearly miss her." Odin wiped an uncharacteristic tear from his face. "As do I."

"I miss her so much!" Loki cried. "It's my fault she's dead." No one but Loki knew that he told Cursed how to escape undetected.

Thor dropped his war hammer and walked to Loki's side. He placed his hand on his shoulder. Loki immediately collapsed into Thor's strong arms. They held each other tight. They both grieved. Years without being able to express their feelings. Loki was always emotive and Thor kept it inside. They both needed this.

Odin saw that he could not punish him as he was suffering more than living out his days in a cell. "Loki, you learned to become a powerful mage. Your time in the void, you experienced things that were unknown even to me."

Loki pushed back from Thor and wiped his face. "I'd rather forget what happened in the Void."

"I do know of one thing about infinity stones, and I think you are the only one who could do this spell. Now that Frigga is gone." Odin put it back on him. "There is a way but if the spell backfires, it could destroy this realm."

"Why should I care?" Loki regained his composure. He didn't like being manipulated.

"Because this spell is so powerful, it can bring back someone from the afterlife."Odin paused he saw the realisation fill Loki.

"Bring her back?" he softly uttered. "I would be able to restore mother?" he trembled in shock. He put his hand to his mouth, softly touching his lips with his finger tips. "How?"

"I do not know the spell. But I'm sure it's something you will figure out." Odin was done talking. He sat back and looked away. Loki looked at the guards who had back off and returned to their posts. He stepped back cautiously. He swallowed and turned and walked out. No one followed him. No one attacked or arrested him. He was free to go. But to where?

* * *

Loki stands in the vaults of the Collector. He moves with purpose to the Aether. He holds the stone in his hands. He feels his heart race. Could this bring her back?

He closed his eyes and teleports to Asgard. He collapsed on the floor. He was in pain. His hands shaking. Using the Teseract this way was not the best idea. But he couldn't wait. He needed to get her back. He could heal his physical injury but he didn't like the pain in his heart.

Sitting in his bedroom. Loki sits in the dark. Now holding the fate of Asgard in his hands. He holds the Aether, looking at its red glow.

He cries as he sits on his bed. Alone in the dark. Surrounded by the taunts and anger. He lays down hugging his pillow. Crying for someone to love him or at least want to be with him. His sobs echo in his empty room. Loki feels so hopeless.

He uncovers the Aether and holds it to his chest. "This infinity stone will hold the magic I need or it will consume me. Either way I get what I want or I cease to exist." His tears landed on the stone. A red glow started to consume him. His Aesir form started to fade and he adopted his Juton form. He lays naked in the foetal position and the Aether glowed and pulsed in time with his heart.

* * *

Loki blinked and looked down at his Juton form. "Seems I now look like what everyone hates". The stone had turned to dust. He was shaking and weakened. He had trouble sitting up. Loki sighed as he was still alive but now felt worse. He bend his knees up and put his arms around his shins. He reached down and realised he had wet the bed. He began to cry. He buried his face in his knees. "I need you! Why doesn't anyone love me?" he slumped down forward on the bed. "I destroyed the Aether, wasn't that enough magic to bring me someone to love me?"

"Well clearly that must be why we are here." It was a familiar female voice. Then a soft touch on his back, comforting him. He then felt he the bed move as someone heavy sit on the end of his bed. Then a familiar male voice.

"I wouldn't believe it, but clearly you must need me too."

Loki looked up sharply and saw Frigga and Laufey. "Mamma?" Loki reached out to see if it was an apparition. He then crawled over to her. He was now a man, but he still was her little boy. He hugged her. She still wanted him even though he was Juton. He turned his head to see his father. The man he had killed.

He was responsible for both their deaths. Could he have been calling to both of them to save him? Laufey lifted up Loki's chin and looked at him.

"So you are my son?" he moved up the bed and his hand torched on the wet patch. He retracted it.

"Oh Loki, did you wet you bed?" Frigga stood up and pulled Loki to his feet. "Laufey, please take him and get him cleaned up. I will take care of this."

"Loki." Laufey took his bicep and dragged him to the bathroom. "I am disappointed with you. You take things to extremes. When someone annoys you even slightly, you feel compelled to destroy everything." He grabbed a cloth and wiped him down. Loki was only as up to Laufey's chest. Clearly he didn't have the tall genes.

"I didn't have much choice. Everyone picked on me, what did they expect? Even Odin abused me."

"Odin. Huh. Well I have no idea what he told you and when, but you should know who you really are." Laufey bent down and fastened a flat strap of material around his waist like a belt. He then took a long cloth as a loin cloth and wrapped it through his legs and folded the ends over and through the waist strap. The end hung down over his crotch.

He picked up Loki effortlessly and sat him on his hip. Loki put his arms around his neck and held on. Laufey walked back into the bedroom and sat down on the bed with Loki now straddling one of his legs. "Loki, we knew you were small and might not make it. So we leave you in out holy place and leave it to the gods. If you survived then we would raise you as our prince. If you died, it wasn't meant to be."

Loki sat quietly. Laufey continued.

"You see, I went to Midgard to expand my kingdom in celebration of your birth. I thought you would have survived. We lost against the Aesir and when I returned to the temple, I found you were gone. I had lost everything. Now I know that I didn't lose you, you are who you were always going to be a king."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know who you were when we first met." Loki stuttered.

"But you did know who I was when you killed me." Laufey held Loki's head by his hair and yanked it back. "You are over extending yourself. You have a disagreement and you try to destroy planets." He glared down at him. "From what I gather, you have been this way your whole life. You retaliate over and above what a normal person would do."

Frigga nodded. Loki pouted. "No, I was just defending myself, they started it!"

"Loki!" Frigga smacked his exposed thigh. "It does not matter who was the initial cause of this conflict, but you should be a man and stop fighting when it is truly not necessary."

Laufey picked up Loki. Loki smiled. He like how it felt. He felt safe, despite a bit uncomfortable at being a thin strip of cloth from being naked. "I have a plan that I think the All-father will aggie to." Frigga followed them down the hall. He put Loki down and took his hand. "Loki, I will be your father, but you have to cooperate."

Frigga took his other hand in hers. "I will help you too." He looked to both of them and nodded. Frigga could see the resemblance to his birth father, not just because his skin was now blue. Loki held their hands tightly as they approached the main hall. The guard at the gate was shocked, he remembered mourning the queen and now she was before him with two Jutons.

"My queen! You're alive?" he exclaimed.

"Yes, I was revived by Loki's magic, so too was his father. We are going to speak to the All-father." She said.

"I don't think he wants to see Loki, not like this. Now that he has reviled his true colours, his reception would be hostile." Referring to his blue skin. Laufey groaned.

They walked through the doors. Laufey and Frigga holding Loki's hands as they walked towards the throne. The people in the room were shocked at the sight. Loki was becoming a bit self-conscious of being almost nude. His bare feet pattered along the floor next to his father, who seemed quite fine wearing very little. Loki thought, why couldn't he also have a cape and armour like him. Odin stood and held Gungnir ready to strike. He then relax as Frigga move between them.

"Odin! I'm here!" he lowered his spear in disbelief and went to her. He held her in a strong embrace. "Odin, please hear Laufey, he needs to talk to you about Loki." Odin released her and looked down at Loki who was now holding his father with both hands since Frigga let him go. He then put his hand over himself and tried to adjust how his clothes sat. Laufey smacked the back of his head.

"Ow!" Loki complained.

"Don't fidget Loki. All-father, we both have the unfortunate experience with the boy we call our son. Loki needs to learn that actions have consequences."

"What?" Loki went to question his father and felt his arm getting squeezed hard.

"I propose he come home with me, he has the power of the casket of winters and the life building properties of the Aether. He will rebuild and restore what he has destroyed on Jotunheim, then if you want him, he will restore and help anyone in Asgard that has suffered at his hands." Laufey bowed as he spoke.

"No! I don't want to!" Loki cried. Laufey then hoisted Loki's hand up over his head and turned him, then smacked him a few time hard, on his bare legs. He then dropped Loki to the floor.

"You are not a child, but if you want to act like one, I will treat you like one." He threatened in a deceptively calm way. Loki looked up then looked at Frigga for support. She shook her head.

"Loki, your father is right. You need to fix what you have done and I know you are still my little boy in my eyes..." she moved towards him. "Whether that is because you think that was the last time you thought 'loved', I don't know. But you are no longer a boy." She stroked his hair softly and he still looked up at her with sad eyes. "But I think it's time you grew up and stopped this mischief." She walked away from him back to Odin's side.

"You proposal is fair." Odin sat back down. "But Loki need not ever return to Asgard, there is nothing for him here."

"No! Mother! Please I don't want to lose you!" Loki jumped up and ran to her. She held her cold lost child. "I just got you back. Please don't say you don't want to see me again."

"Loki, you can visit me anytime. But you will need to focus on healing first." She pushed him back and smiled. She kissed his forehead. Laufey walked up and picked Loki up and cradled him in his arms. He struggled at first.

Laufey nodded to Odin and carried Loki out. He looked over his father's large shoulders to wave to Frigga. She waved back. Laufey carried Loki back to his room. He walked in and closed the door. "Loki, are you going to cooperate or will I have to punish you?"

"What?"

Laufey smacked his face. "Don't be so rude. If you don't understand the question, then ask."

"I don't know what you mean..." Laufey held up his hand ready to smack him again. "Father." Laufey lowered his hand. Loki seamed to pick up what was expected.

"You are a prince, and you will be king one day, but don't think I will let you sit on the throne if you cannot display something as simple as manners." Laufey cupped Loki's chin and raised it up so he could look him in the eyes. "You are strong and a powerful mage, but you need to appreciate the basics in life before you can relax on your laurels." Laufey held out his hand and Loki tentatively took it. Holding him tightly.

They passed through the Bifrost. A number of frost giants had met them at the landing site. Laufey could see Loki was starting to shiver.

"Now, how much of your Juton blood do you have flowing though your veins? If you think you are Aesir, you will freeze. You must remember who you are and focus on that."

He nodded and closed his eyes. He relaxed and then smiled. He didn't feel cold anymore. "Father, will they hurt me for what I have done?" he whispered still holding Laufey's hand tightly.

"No." Laufey moved to a position to address the crowd. "I have returned. I was dead but now have been restored by my son." He picks up Loki and holds him up under his armpits. Loki crunches up his legs in embarrassed at being paraded. He still wants used to showing off his body. Laufey lowered him down and held him tightly up on his hip. "Loki possesses the casket of winters and will restore our realm with the same magic that restored me." He set Loki down and held out his hand to get him to show them.

Loki moved in front of his father and closed his eyes. He held his hands outstretched. A glow began to emanate then the casket appeared in his hands. A red glow was growing inside before it began to encircle him. The bubble grew and began to swift expand. He extended it out 100 metres from his current spot. Any Jutons who had died in that area began to appear next to their surviving relatives.

The frost giants looked at shock and happiness at the return of their friends and family. The spell stopped and Loki slumped to the ground. Laufey picked up his son and held him close. "Good boy. That is a good start. The people of this realm will see you are here to fix what you have done and they will grow to love you..." Loki looked up weakly at Laufey. "As I do." He kissed Loki's forehead and carried him to the ruined castle.

* * *

Loki walked up to Laufey. He had spent the last few weeks restoring the kingdom. He stumbled and fell to the floor exhausted. Laufey sat back resiting helping him. "Loki, don't show your weakness. You are a prince." Loki shook his head and didn't get up. Laufey knew that Loki needed to recover. "Loki, you won't be required to heal the kingdom for a while."

He stood up slowly and moved over to his father and sat beside him. He sat at his feet and leaned his head and hand on his thigh. Laufey put his hand on Loki's head and softly stroked his hair. He smiled at the comfort. 10 frost giants matched in and knelt down before them. They were different builds and genders. All loyal to the king.

"Loki, these are some of the people you have revived. They will be your personal guard. They will serve you how you wish, whether in battle or if you choose to take one as a mate." Loki looked up, some were male. He then looked at his father. He was serious. Laufey directed the male on the end to come before him. "Take my son and show him our ways that he be better prepared for the rigors of a union." The giant nodded and stood before Loki.

Laufey pulled him to his feet and pushed him gently towards the male. Loki was swept up into his arms. "Let me carry you my liege. You need to rest." Loki was unsure what was going on. But he knew he was too tired to walk to his room.

The male lowered him gently onto his bed. "I am called Rungmir. If you do not require me, then I will wait for you outside your chambers."

"Umm, ok. I don't really know what my father is intending me to do with you." Loki sat cross legged on his bed.

"I am your consort. If you want me to have sex you can." He moved towards Loki and touched his leg gently. "You are not a virgin are you my liege?"

"No. Just not a slut." Loki didn't stop his advances and let him slip his hand up further towards his crotch. "Oh, and while you're in my chambers, call me Loki."

"Yes my liege." He turned his palm and cupped Loki. He gently squeezed and began to rub him through his loin cloth. Loki shuddered and gripped the bigger man's arms. "Did you want me to stop?"

"No." Loki closed his eyes. He slipped his hand down over the man's and encouraged him to keep going. He rubbed and fondled him more aggressively. Loki quickly grew hard. He then felt him slip his fingers in under the edge of his loincloth and pulled it slowly off. Loki's erection sprung up and then he sat back and removed his own.

Loki then looked down at his suitor and gasped. He was bigger than he expected. He looked unsure and the man flipped Loki onto his stomach and began to finger his ass. Loki pulled away. He didn't tell him to stop and then he cried out when he felt the finger enter him.

"Loki, you are tight, are you lying to me about your virginity?"

"No. I just have not had someone so..."

"Big?" The man pulled Loki up and faced him. "Loki that was my finger, not my cock. If you cannot take my finger how can you expect to have sex? Not to sound cruel, but has your father told you that your responsibility would be to make an heir?"

"No, but I'm sure that is implied of all kingdoms." Loki didn't want to look him in the eyes.

"I shall leave you be." He stood up and fixed his cloths. "Loki, please, you need to prepare yourself. You don't seem endowed enough to impregnate a female. So you must be the receiver." He walked out. Loki started to shake. He wasn't fully aware of his physiology. He thought he could take it. He took a larger cock when he was a mare. He thought he must have just been designed to take it in that form.

Loki didn't want to be a mother again. The birth of Sleipnir was agonising.

* * *

Laufey sat quietly as Rungmir approached him. "That was quick." He muttered.

"Sire, your son is not ready to mate."

"How so?"

"He cannot take a man, and I am unsure if he can effetely impregnate a female." He bowed low to not anger Laufey.

"Very well." Laufey dismissed him and went to see his son. He walked into see Loki curled up in a ball. He shook his head and dragged in one of the smaller females and closed the door. "Loki, get up."

"Father?"

"Loki come here." He complied. Laufey began to wank him. Loki grabbed his father's forearm in fear and embarrassment. He fell him pull him hard and fast. He began to get hard. Laufey then shoved the female on the bed and she spared her legs and smiled, waiting for the young prince. Laufey dragged Loki over and pushed him over her. He reached under him and held his hard cock, pushing it towards her hole. He rubbed the end of Loki's cock up and down against her, letting him feel how moist she was.

He lined him up and then released as he pushed down on the small of Loki's back. Forcing him deep inside her. He then walked out and left Loki shocked and stationary above her. She pulled him in close and rolled him over onto his back. She began to grind back and forth but Loki slipped out. She grabbed him and inserted him back in. She leaned back and tried her best to excite him.

Loki was confused. He did like it but it wasn't really that. He just couldn't get turned on enough. It was like throwing a sausage down a hallway. Just a wet rubbing of their bits. He shook his head and pushed her off. "No. Not like this."

"Humm" she sat back and looked down at him. He just wasn't sufficient enough for her. "Loki, what do you want me to do? If you don't cum, how are you meant to make an heir?"

He felt insulted and shoved her hard off the bed with magic. "Leave!" he shouted at her as he stood on the bed to now make himself equal eye height. He might have been shorter, but he was not afraid of fighting someone bigger. She left and he decided that he was capable. He stood and then gripped himself. He angrily began to pull himself.

Loki's eyes were full of angry tears as he stood on his hard bed. He pulled hard and fast. His free hand firmly crushing his balls. He groaned and breathed heavy. His breath cloud appeared in the cold air. Jets of steam exhaling on each hard breath. He painted as his pace increase. He groaned loudly as he felt the sensation growing deep inside. He cried out as he came.

He sat down on the end of the bed and looked down at his blue skin. He didn't want to be here anymore. He was at first happy for his father to want him, but he crossed the line when he forced him to have sex. He stood up defiantly and wrapped his loin cloth around himself. He then made his way to his secret portal to Asgard.

* * *

Loki came out in the grounds of the palace. He signed unease. He felt butterflies in his stomach. He needed to see Frigga. He began to run to where he thought she would be. As he approached one of the long halls, two Einherjar guards blocked his path. "Stop Juton!"

"Out of my way fools!" Loki yelled. Realising they didn't recognise him. They went to block him. He shoved them back with a spell. He pushed open the doors and ran down the halls. He came close to the throne room. There were more guards. Loki slowed and began to walk with purpose. One guard looked down at Loki approaching. "Go home boy! Your kind is not welcome here!" the other moved towards Loki to strike him.

"Jutons are so desperate they send their children in to fight!" Loki held up his hands and forced the guard back. A number of other guards heard the commotion and began to attack Loki. He managed to get passed them and forced open the doors to the throne room.

Odin stood up and grabbed his spear. He saw the commotion. Frigga turned in shock. Loki ran towards them. "Mother!" he cried out in a panic. She ran down to him. She embraced him and he slumped down to his knees, pulling her down. The guards stopped around them.

"My little Loki! What has happened?" she held his face and looked him in his red eyes. The colour began to flow from him. He began to become Aesir again. He smiled as he felt the warmth from her and knew that was what triggered his change.

* * *

On Jotunheim, Laufey pushed open the doors to Loki's room, he was gone. He groaned. He strode angry through the halls, none of his guards had seen him in a while. Laufey grabbed the two suitors as his bodyguards and walked out of the palace. He stood in the open ground and scowled at the sky.

"Heimdall! Open the Bifrost! I need to retrieve my son!" he clenched his fists. He knew Heimdall has been observing them and would understand that Loki needed to be disciplined. The light surrounded them and pulled them to Asgard. Laufey approached Heimdall, who as almost as tall as him. "Where is he?"

"He is in the throne room."

"Well I guess I will be talking to the All-father about this."

* * *

The doors opened up to the throne room. A group of Einherjar guards escorted Laufey and his entourage. Loki spun around in shock. Laufey grabbed him by the hair and yanked him up to his feet and flung him into the arms of the other two frost giants. They restrained Loki. Laufey put his arm across his chest and bowed down.

"All-father, Loki has broken his promise, he is not fulfilling his duties and we are here to take him back home."

"Very well." Odin did not really care. If Laufey was willing to deal with Loki, he didn't have to.

"No! I don't want to go back to Jotunheim!" Loki screamed. Laufey turned and smacked his face. He put his hands on him and he became Juton again. Loki shivered and gasped as he looked at his blue skin. The guards were in shock and adopted a defensive position.

"You will come back and I will chain you to your bed till you either get her pregnant.." he pointed to one of his captors then to the other. "Or he gets you pregnant, either way, your duty is to produce an heir and until you honour that, you are not free to do what you want, whenever you want!"

Loki shook and began to piss himself in fear. He shook his head and cried. He didn't want to go. He looked to Frigga for help. Laufey looked down at Loki and grabbed his wrist and turned him around and smacked him repeatedly. "What have I told you?!" he yelled as he smacked him. He shoved Loki to the floor. "Now clean up your mess!"

Loki didn't know what to do and just sat on his hands and knees staring at the floor. Frigga reached down to Loki and held a cloth and began to wipe the floor in front of Loki. He just sobbed and looked at her. Laufey grabbed Frigga and pulled her to her feet. Odin tensed up. Until he let her go.

"Don't lower yourself! Loki needs to fix his own problems. You mothering him prevents him from learning to be accountable for his mistakes!" Odin smiled internally. Laufey was right in his eyes. Loki cried and he wiped the floor slowly. Laufey grabbed him and threw Loki over his shoulder. He strode out of the throne room.

* * *

Laufey put Loki back in his room. He closed the door so he could be alone with him. "Stop crying." Laufey smacked him. "Listen to me. You will be under house arrest until you sort yourself out."

Loki sobbed and wiped his tears. "Till when, father?"

"Till you are ready." Laufey's answer surprised him. He was calm and not aggressive. Loki needed to confirm this.

"What?" Loki looked at him puzzled.

"Well there is no point in you attempting to breed if you are unable to. So you can stay here till you work that out." he pulled out a chest and opened it. It had an array of sex toys and devices. "You can use these to improve your skills in private. If you need help or want one of your suitors to play with you, just ask."

Loki sat stunned. His father seemed to be teaching him about sex. "Ummm. I .." Loki was hesitant. He didn't know how to respond.

"Have you not seen some of these things before?" Laufey pulled out a vibrator and handed it to Loki. He shook his head. "Oh. Ok. Well. I guess I better start from scratch." He exhaled and sat down on the floor so I didn't sit higher that Loki, so he didn't feel threatened. He undid Loki's minimal clothing and supported him to lie on his back. Loki felt a bit embarrassed. Laufey took Loki's hand and got him to grip himself.

"Now, you know how to get an orgasm by yourself?"

"Yes." Loki quietly responded. Laufey turned on the vibrator and held the bumpy end against his perineum. Loki moaned loudly and sat up suddenly and grabbed his father's arm.

"Just try to relax. I'm not going to hurt you." he looked at Loki's face. "You look like you have never experience this feeling before."

"I haven't." Laufey stopped and turned off the vibrator. "Wait. Don't stop. I don't know how to do it." Loki admitted. Laufey put the toy in his hand.

"This is how you turn it on. Just try putting the different parts of it against different parts of your body. Whether you hold it against your thigh or progress to inserting it, it is up to you." Laufey turned it on and held Loki's hand and moved it over his leg. It shook in his hand. He gripped it tight. He held his other hand over the end and smiled at the sensations.

Loki looked up at Laufey. He could see he genuinely wanted to help him. "Now, do you know how to give sex as well as take it?"

"Yes." Loki said trying to reinforce he wasn't a virgin.

"Ok." Laufey pulled out a fake lower body. He placed it so the vajina was uppermost. "This is to scale of a female. This will give you an idea of what it will be like." He pushed two fat fingers in easily and spread them. He then took Loki's hand and pushed his fingers in. Loki blushed as he began to get hard and leek pre-cum at the touch. He was moist and Laufey pressed a button that released more lubricant and constricted the insides.

"You need to get deeper than this to break her shield and fertilise her eggs." Loki was fascinated but how accurate this looked. Laufey picked up a dildo and shoved it in to show him. "You will see this red light come on when you have got far enough in. Do not cum before this point or you won't be successful. Unfortunately the female has powerful spermicidal to prevent any ill-equimpt males from continuing their line."

Loki realised that they haddn't been poking fun at his size, but more that the science of procreation was common knowledge to them.

"You may have to try different positions to able to penetrate deep enough." Laufey stood up and put his hand on Loki's shoulder and squeezed it softly. "Now. I will leave you to it." He walked to the door leaving Loki with one hand on a vibrator and the other fingering the fake woman. He smiled and locked the door.

* * *

Loki put the lower body in the middle of his bed. He piled up some pillows to form the chest. He positioned himself over it and poked himself inside. He pressed the button to begging the pulsing of her insides. He shook as he felt it. He pushed himself in to his hilt. He bit his bottom lip and pushed down over and over. But he couldn't get the light to come on. He pulled out and stuck his fingers in.

He wiggled them down inside. He then slipped his flat hand in. He felt the wet compressions and then the light came on. He pulled out his hand and held it against his penis to see how far he was off the mark. He was still a couple of inches short. He groaned and sat back on his bed. He looked down at himself. It's not like he could grow any bigger.

He folded his arms and pouted. This was not going to work. He crawled over and looked through the chest. He looked at the unusual objects. Some were familiar, but he didn't know why they were in the box. He was unsure of the sexual application of a few. He didn't want to ask, but he would need to know. He rummaged down to the bottom and found a book. He smiled.

An instruction book. He flipped through it at and began to read how to use some of the toys. He picked up a strange little mat with tentacles on it. He looked in the book and wrapped it around his penis. He pressed a button on the back and they began to activate. He cried out in pleasure. He felt the tentacles move over him. The ones around the head began to press into his hole.

He panicked as he felt it hit the inside of his urethra. He pulled off the toy and began to pant awkwardly. This was going to take time. Loki put everything back in the box and decided he would read up on it before trying anything.

* * *

It had been a few days and Laufey came to check on Loki. He pushed open the door and looked around the room. He heard a sound coming from the bathroom. He walked over and through the open door. Loki was squatting in the shower. He was squatting over the vibrator and he was trying to insert it. He was only a few inches down.

There was evidence of blood and shit on it and his fingers, where he had pushed back. He was holding the vibrator with both hands and was moaning as he felt it moving inside him. He looked up to see his father in the door way. He fell off the toy and sat on the floor. He covered himself. "Loki are you ok?"

He nodded and felt embarrass. "Yes father."

Laufey knelt down and turned on the shower. The water flowed over him. He pulled out a funnel and tube from the box. He clipped the end of the funnel over the end of the shower head. The water began to flow out the tube end. He picked up the end of the hose and pushed Loki's legs apart with the other hand. "Now just relax. You should do this to clean yourself before you try anal."

He pushed the end of the hose inside Loki's tight hole. He groaned as he felt the warm water fill him. He moaned and started to panic. "Stay calm. Don't squeeze just yet." Laufey kept filling him then pulled out the hose. He helped Loki up to his feet. "Now you will need to just wait for a few minutes. Now try and hold on. Just sit down on the toilet and try and hold on as long as you can. If you have to go then go."

Loki sat down and held his knees together and squeezed his bottom as much as he could. He sat there shaking his legs. Laufey left the room and Loki heard him go out the main door. He felt the pressure against his hole. He felt good but could feel the urge growing to go. He slipped his hand down and pushed his finger against his hole. It was firm and a tiny bit of liquid leaked out when he touched it.

He decided to go and pushed down and released. He groaned as he felt himself empty. He sighed when he was done. He walked back to the shower and decided to try the hose again. He slipped it in gently and turned on the tap. He rubbed the edge tightly squeezed around the tube. It felt weird but good. He turned off the tap after a few minutes. He found it awkward to stand.

Loki sat on his hands and knees and felt a dribbled run down the back of his leg. He couldn't hold it as easy as before. Maybe he filled himself too much. He moaned and decided to just go in the shower. He spread his legs slightly and looked down between his legs to watch.

He watched a thick stream flow out and splash over the inside of the shower. He squeezed himself to try and stem the flow. He held it for a bit but them had to keep going. He reached down and began to touch himself as he kept going. He slipped one finger in his wet hole. Expelling over his hand. He reached up and unhooked the hose and washed himself off in the shower.

He picked up the vibrator and then decided to try and sit back down on it again. This time he found himself able to go a bit further. He turned it on and moaned loudly with pleasure. He shuddered as he felt it against his sensitive hole. He could feel it pushing on his prostate. He cried in a mixture of pleasure and pain. He grabbed himself and wanked with a loose grip. He couldn't hold himself. He was shaking and weakened with pleasure. He knew he was about to cum.

Loki slumped forward and cam hands free. The vibrator slipped out and twitched on the floor of the shower. Loki just remained motionless under the water. He eventually regained his composure. He stood up slowly and turned off the shower. He dried himself off and walked into his bedroom. He lay down on his bed and quickly fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Loki wondered out into the main hall and cautiously approached Laufey. "Father?"

"Mmm?" Laufey didn't really respond. Loki moved closer and couldn't help but start to cry. He rubbed the tears from his eyes. "Oh what's wrong now?" Laufey saw he was distressed.

"I need to see mother. Please let me go!" he sobbed. Laufey realised he wasn't going to give up.

"Ok. I don't know if Odin will let you come back. I will ask her to come visit you." Loki got up and hugged his father. "Ok! Ok! Calm down." Laufey knew she meant a great deal to him. He pushed him back and smiled softly. "Now go back to your room."

* * *

Laufey stood out on the balcony looking up at the sky. The Bifrost opened in front of him and Frigga stepped from the light. He bowed and took her hand. "You must have had a major affect on his life. He didn't seem to want to function without you." He said as they walked.

"I think it was cause I gave him the attention that Odin and Thor didn't." They walked to his room and Laufey pushed open the door. Loki looked up and smiled widely.

"Mother!" he ran to her and hugged her.

"It's ok Loki! Please sit down." She walked him the bed and sat down beside him. Laufey sat back on the other side of the room. "You don't have to worry I'm here."

"But you weren't and it's my fault!" he held her tight. She stoked his hair and comforted him.

"How do you think your responsible?" Laufey whispered. Loki looked up and sniffed. "How did she die? I know you didn't kill her as you did me."

"I couldn't save her. I was in the dungeon." Loki hung his head.

"That seems to be a regular occurrence for you." Laufey added. "What happened that day?" Loki composed himself and Frigga stroked his hair.

"I was in the dungeon and the prisoners were fighting. But noone broke me out of my cell. I was sitting and reading and waiting for them to quiet down..."

* * *

Thor and the warriors three fought the prisoners and did their best to subdue them. Thor stopped and looked up, then at Loki. He felt something was not right and flew off. Loki gripped his chest. He pushed his magical connection to his mother. He then felt a sharp pain in his back then his chest.

He stumbled and fell to the floor and whimpered. Something was not right. He tried to connect to her again. She was silent. Loki knew she was dead. He was lost. He panicked as he tried to sense her. He knew she was gone. Loki closed his eyes and clenched his fists. He screamed for her.

"Mother!" a powerful spell emanated from him and his cell force field broke. Loki ran as fast as he could to her room. His legs were burning and he was almost feeling his way as he eyes were so full of tears. He burst open the door to her room and wiped his face. He stood in the door way to see Odin bend down to hold her head and Thor walking down the steps slowly towards them in shock.

Loki shook his head and ran to her crying. "No!" Loki grabbed her waist and saw the blood. "No! Mummy, don't die! Please I need you!" he clawed at her and sobbed uncontrollably. Odin relaxed a bit and was surprised at Loki's affection.

"She can't die!" Loki pleaded to Odin. He put his hands on her wound and focused. A glow began to emanate from his hands. He cried and grinded his teeth. He put all his forced into the spell. He pushed his life-force into her. He struggled to maintain the spell and opened his eyes. Tears fell on to her. He realised the spell was not working. She was not responding. "No..." he whimpered as he collapsed.

Odin placed his hand on Loki's back. He turned his head to him and begged. "Please! Your magic is more powerful than mine. I don't a spell to save her! Please save her!"

"I can't Loki." Odin spoke softly.

"You can! I would give my life for her but it would not be enough, you are the only one who can!" Loki screamed. Thor came down and grabbed Loki by the hips and went to lift him up off Frigga. "No!" Loki held her tightly and refused to budge.

"Loki! Let her go." Thor tried to pull him from her. He gripped her tight and Odin wave to Thor to leave him. Loki buried his face in her dress and cried.

"Mummy!"

Odin stood slowly and Thor helped him to his feet. He looked to his son. "We must let her go to the stars." He looked down to Loki then back at Thor. "She will watch over us from there." The Einherjar Guards came in. They stopped and bowed down. "We will send her off tonight. Have the boats readied for all who have fallen today."

He bent down to Frigga and placed his hand down to pick her but Loki was protecting her. "Come Loki, bring her to the preparation room." He looked up and Odin stood and lent on Gungnir as a crutch as he began to slowly walk from the room. Loki nodded and put his arms under her back and tried to lift her. He couldn't.

He sobbed and pulled her close to his chest. Thor knelt down and helped lift her. Loki looked at him. "I can't! I'm not strong enough!" He felt useless.

"I will help." The brothers lifted her and followed Odin.

As they walked the halls the people knelt down in respect and loss. Loki held her head and chest up as best he could. His sobs filled the silent halls as they followed Odin. Thor could have easily carried her by himself but knew that Loki wanted to. He tried to give him the impression that he was carrying her. Jane followed slowly behind them.

The guards opened the doors in front of them. The boys placed her down on a preparation table. Thor stepped back and Jane stood by him and put her arms around him. Loki stayed hugging her lifeless body. The hand maids moved in to prepare the boat and began to prepare her body. Loki made it difficult and wouldn't let go. Odin pointed the tip of the spear into his shoulder.

"Loki, you need to let them do their job. They need to prepare her for her journey." He reluctantly stepped back. Odin and Thor departed. Loki stood vidual. He began to feel numb. He had no tears left. He stood starring at her face. She still had a slight smile and seemed so calm. They finished preparing her body and turned to Loki.

"Prince Loki, you mother is ready for her journey." He nodded and walked over to her in the boat. He laid the sword on her and placed her hands on the hilt. He softly kissed her forehead and then lips. One last tear landed on her cheek. He sat back and then laid the veil over her head. He stood and placed both of his hands to his mouth and whispered. "Goodbye mother."

He turned and walked to the shoreline to stand near Thor and Odin. He looked up at the night sky. The crowd was silent and Thor saw Loki approach. He walked to him and held him close. He walked him to the edge and held his hand with one hand and the other around his shoulder. Loki slipped his hand around Thor's waist.

They watched as the boat silently sailed past. As it moved out of reach of the shore the archer fired his flaming arrow and the boat was ablaze. Loki sobbed struggled in Thor's arms. "No! Come back!" he screamed.

"Shh Loki, let her go to the stars." Thor tried to comfort his distraught brother. He was weakened and her death had taken an emotional toll on him. Thor squatted down and took Loki's jaw gently and directed him to look up. "See, she is in the stars. You look up when you want to see her." Loki couldn't bare to look and buried his face in Thor's chest. He held him close and kissed the top of his head.

He scooped his arms under him and carried Loki back to the palace. He was exhausted and wasn't even holding on to Thor anymore.

Jane followed him as he didn't take him to the dungeon, but to Loki's bedroom. He lowered his tied body onto the soft sheets and began to undress him. He slipped off his boots and then sat him up to remove his jacket. His chest was bare and pale. Thor ran his hand softly down over him and was about to undo his pants. Loki placed his hands on Thor's to stop him.

Thor leaned in and Loki whispered in his ear. "No with her here. Please Thor." He nodded and turned to see Jane standing at the doorway. Thor walked over to her.

"Jane, I just have to help Loki with a few things, please just go next door to my room and wait for me." He smiled softly and she nodded. Thor waited till she left and returned to him. He helped him slip his pants off. Loki put his hands over himself. Thor cupped his hand between his legs and squeezed him through his thick underwear. "Oh you're wet." Thor placed his hands on his hips and pulled them off.

He put his dirty clothes in the laundry and went to his draws to get some clean clothes for him. He pulled out some dry underwear. Loki liked them cause the felt soft and they were enough to stop little accidents being noticed. Thor helped him slip them on and pulled the sheets over him. He kissed him and stroked his hair. "Please sleep. I want you to dream of the happy times with mother."

Thor turned off the light and walked back to his room. He stripped off and walked over to the bed. Jane was shocked that he was totally naked. She hadn't seen him nude. He seemed so comfortable. She sat up and went to remove her gown.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Oh well it makes it easier for .."

"Sex? No I always sleep in the nude. I don't know how you could think of having sex after a funeral." Thor climbed into bed.

"I wasn't, I just thought that's what you were doing so I decided to do what you wanted." Thor sighed and lay back down. He turned off the light. Thor lay there and tried to think of better times. But he couldn't help but think of her dying right in front of him and there was nothing either of them could do. He knew Loki loved her but he always played it down. He truly showed how he felt today. Even Odin acknowledged his feelings.

Thor couldn't sleep. He lay there for hours worried about Loki all alone. Loki tossed and turned. He was too distressed to sleep. He sobbed into his pillow and held it like he held her as she lay dead. He woke from his partial sleep and looked around. There was no one there. He climbed out of bed and he made his way to the balcony and climbed over to Thor's.

The bare foot patter across the floor caught Thor's attention. He sat up to see Loki making his way towards him slowly. Loki lifted the sheets and climbed in to lay with Thor. "Couldn't you sleep?" he whimpered to the younger man. He moved under the covers and didn't want to vocalise what he felt. Loki turned his head embarrassed as Thor felt his wet pants against his thigh as Loki wrapped his legs around him.

He scooped him up and carried him back to his room. He carried him to the bed and placed Loki's feet on the ground. Thor turned on the light and went to help him back into bed. He looked over at him in mild disappointment. "Oh you wet the bed too?" he pulled off the sheets and put them in the wash. He walked Loki to the bathroom. He glanced up to see the sun was coming up.

Neither of them had slept. Thor turned on the shower and returned to his room, letting Loki to be by himself. He climbed back into bed.

Loki stood under the shower and looked down at his hands and realised his magic could not save her. He then began to question himself. He thought what more could he have done? He turned off the shower and got dressed. He felt lost. He then began to think how she died. The dark elf that stabbed her. He saw him. He was in the cells. Had he caused her death by telling him how to escape?

He walked slowly back to the dungeons. The guards saw him and followed him. He walked into his cell of broken things and slumped down on the floor with his back to the guards. They stood for a moment looking at the barefoot prince kneeling. "Sire, why are you here, are you not free?"

"I deserve to die here." Loki didn't raise his head. "Raise the shield." He sniffed.

"What did you do that would warrant such a sentence?"

"I am responsible for my mother's death." The guards didn't believe him but they raised the force field and left.

* * *

Laufey gasped he never thought of Loki as someone who could express such loss. Frigga held him silently. "Oh Loki, you are not to blame. Kursed would have tracked us down anyway. If you were there you would have likely been killed." He didn't want her to stop hugging him.

"At least I wouldn't have had to deal with your loss." Loki brushed her hair and then inhaled as he pressed his face into her neck. "Promise me you won't leave me again." She pushed him back at arm's length and gave him a concerned look.

"Loki, don't be selfish. Your desire to die when you feel no one loves you is unhealthy. You think you have felt loss? How do you think we felt when you thought it a more appealing option to let go and fall into the void rather than let Odin and Thor save you." she scolded him. He sat back and could believe she would hurt him or turn on him.

"What? That's not fair! Odin never wanted me!"

"And you never thought to consider Thor's feelings? He would have jumped after you if his father wasn't holding on."

"Huh? No he wouldn't, he just wanted his mortal woman, not me." Loki snarled. Frigga slapped him.

"Foolish boy! Thor loves you and you hurt him deeply! He told me he felt you betrayed his trust. That you would rather die than be with him."

"You don't know everything!" Loki cried as he rubbed his cheek.

"Yes he cared for Jane but you were what he lived for. Now that you have hurt him too many times, he doesn't want you around because he doesn't want the reminder of that pain!" She stood up and moved to the door. "Loki, I'm going back to Asgard. I suggest you take time to think seriously about the people you love and how you have hurt us." Loki realised she was talking about herself. He never thought he had hurt her.

"Mother please.." Loki stood up and went to follow her but Laufey stopped him.

"No Loki, I'm not your mother, when I was alive, you reminded me of that the last time we spoke." Frigga turned and walked to the balcony and the Bifrost took her away. Loki stood held by his father. He was heartbroken and hated that his last words to her were not of love but trying to reinforce his lonliness.


End file.
